PhD Dilemma

Assalamualaikum..

Happy weekends u'ols!! Hoping that you guys are enjoying your weekend so far.. 

Now that I've finished my master's degree *Alhamdulillah!*, I need to find institution for my next degree, PhD *Permanent Head Damage??*.. Enthusiastic? Naahh..., not rili.. Thing is I am only given 6 months from endorsement date to find places for my PhD. To be submitted to MSD *or more familiar as HR in other places* for approval.

Honestly..., looking for the institution je dah pening.. Macam-macam benda nak kena consider. Macam-macam orang nak kena pikir.. Tu lah urs truly tengah dilema ni..

Kehendak university, to get a high rank institution. Kalau dapat MIT, lagi gempak! Harvard, Cambridge, Stanford.. Uni yang aku baru bukak website je dah tegak bulu roma.. Belum nak hantar email dekat potential supervisor lagi...

Kehendak Head Of Department, to get a place in US institution. Yeah I heard, US PhD graduates memang berkualiti.. Research wise and teaching wise.. Tapi, kena ingat, 'NO PAIN, NO GAIN'.. Honestly, aku seghiau dengan 'excessive PAIN' that I might need to go through to GAIN the quality.. Master di dalam negara sahaja pun dah hampir mengeringkan my duct of tears. Ini pula nak buat PhD dekat US institution yang memang known as tough and extra challenging! Plus, I sendiri tak yakin boleh lepas GRE exam *Graduate Record Examination = qualification exam to be accepted as post-grad students in US institution*

Kehendak enche suami, kalau boleh dalam negara aje.. I can understand his concern, sapa nak look after our asset *wahh, gaya macam asset juta-juta kau nyahhh, padahal rumah cenonet seketul je & kereta myvi sebijik! Nyampah! Hihi*. And mungkin dia sayang nak tinggalkan kerja & students yang tersayang kat Malaysia nih.. *Hmmmmmmm.....*

Kehendak ayah bonda, to get an institution over the seas but not so far from Malaysia. Hahahaha... Of course their concern is it's too far away, then it will be difficult for them to visit their grandchildren.. Australia is their preferable choice.. Sebab masih dalam range mampu pergi visit naik AirAsia.. Hehehe..

Kehendak hati sebagai bakal PhD student, I just want my PhD journey to be smooth and exciting. A few criteria that I have set in mind for my PhD. Since it is a research based study, so choice of supervisor is SUPER IMPORTANT! I wish I can get a SV that can closely monitor my progress. Guide me at least on the direction to sail. Second, since I'm in engineering field, of course I'm hoping the institution that I want to go is fully equipped with the facilities that I need to use for my research. Third, the research work that I want to do, it would be better if it is in larger group kind of project. Meaning, my research would be small part of larger project conducted in the institution. The advantage of this is, usually the project is more organized, well-planned and funded. Plus, it is easier to discuss with a group of people who understands the project since they are doing the same thing but maybe different part. So kalau blur or stuck, boleh bertanya dan dapatkan advice dengan cepat.

And penipu besar lah kalau I cakap, tak teringin nak cuba belajar luar negara. Get new experience, new adventure, new environment.. Get to know other part of the world culture and living style. Peluang datang sekali seumur hidup. Bukan semua orang dapat peluang gi belajar & duduk luar negara free kan? So why not? Hehehehe..    

Kehendak hati sebagai seorang ibu kepada anak-anak yang sedang membesar, I nak carik tempat yang bagi advantage pada growth anak-anak. US terlalu 'free', japan, korea & germany, english bukan the mother tongue, nanti susah anak-anak nak bergaul, di sana and bila dah balik Malaysia. Nak tempat yang senang carik babysitter or nursery/playschool. So well being anak-anak terjaga dan tak terabai bila Mama sibuk belajar..

In conclusion, too many aspects need to be considered.. Dan macamlah semua tempat dapat offer. Subject to the institution acceptance gak.. And subject to MSD & KPT punya approval lagi.. Haihhh.. Challenging.., challenging... Huhuhuhu... Camano ni? Lom start pon laie..,baru carik tompek, ekau dah kato challenging.. Sok tah bapo gelen pulak air mato nak buang ni.. 

Ya Allah, tunjukkan aku jalan yang terbaik. Permudahkanlah... Amin...

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Selamat hari raya aidiladha!

Assalamualaikum,

Selamat hari raya aidiladha to all muslims in d world!

Sama-sama kita hayati erti pengorbanan...

Allah hu akbar,allah hu akbar,allah hu akbar,
Lailahaillallah,hu wallah hu akbar,
Allah hu akbar,walillahilhamd...

Selamat hari raya dari urs truly sekeluarga!

Post Mortem : Doing Master's Degree

Assalamualaikum,

Catatan hari ini, adalah untuk renungan aku sendiri.  Mungkin satu hari nanti di masa akan datang, di kala aku mungkin dah berjaya mencapai cita-cita menjadi seorang pendidik, aku boleh imbau kembali jerih perjalanan aku menggenggam segulung ijazah Sarjana.dan yang penting,kesilapan-kesilapan yg pernah aku buat masa master,akan dijadikan benchmark utk tidak diulangi utk phd & perjalanan akan dtg.

*dah kenapa ayat skema tak hengat...! saje la..,mood tengah ala-ala puitis gitu.. Tolong layan je... Hihihihi..*

So..., back to the story. I started my master's study in IIUM back then in 2010, June to be specific. In Mechatronics Engineering, Kulliyyah of Engineering. I enrolled a mixed mode program (coursework + research).

From June 2010 - April 2011, I completed my 20 credit hours = 7 subjects coursework. Well, I would say, studying for courses and a mother at the same time, is not an easy task to do. Masa bujang trang tang tang dulu, you can study (doing assignment/completing minor project/preparing for quizzes/preparing for exams and etc) anytime you like. Pagi? Malam? Tengahari buta? Asalkan free and ada will to do so, duduk je kat meja study, bukak buku, and study.

When you're a mother, on the other hand, that privilege is taken dengan serta-merta.. Kena setelkan anak dulu, then baru boleh fikir utk study. Sometimes, baru je bukak buku 5minit, si kecik dah bunyi.. So, terpaksa tinggal dulu and entertain anak. Oh itu kalau si kecil sihat walafiat lah. Tiba pulak time dia demam or tak sihat, level manja @ mengada meningkat ke tahap tertinggi, maka memang tak akan sempat lah sang mama sentuh buku. Bukan setakat buku, nak bawak pencil case keluar dari beg pun belum tentu sempat! So, TIME MANAGEMENT is super important!

LESSON LEARNT #1: Manage your time super efficiently. DON'T PROCRASTINATE!

LESSON LEARNT #2: Allocate a 2hours everyday for studies.completing assignment,study for quizzes,exam etc.last minute study is no longer suitable for a mother.

Then,after 2 semesters doing courseworks,i registered for research.my biggest mistake back then was not looking for supervisor n research title earlier (sem 2 or even sem 1).i seriously started looking for supervisor & title only after I was done with courseworks.well,i lost a lot of time for it.

Then the title.i sucks big time in this part.first,i chose research area that is too virgin in my university.my sv wanted to explore the area,but belum ada foundation.scope of research terlalu general and luas!so I had a hard time narrowing my scope n choosing the method.and I spent a looootttt of time in this stage.scope n methodology.once that was confirmed,then only I started on the implementation.

LESSON LEARNT #4: it is safer n time saving to find a research conducted by a group of student.at least the scope of ur part is known and u can just focus on methodology n analysis.

LESSON LEARNT #5: Choose sv who is really expert in ur chosen research area.so they can advise anytime u need it n feedback on ur work that u has done.

LESSON LEARNT #6: set your consultation time with supervisor (if ur sv doesn't do that) and make sure to strictly stick to the schedule.this is to motivate u to do something for u to report for that meeting.jadi tidaklah leka berjimba sana sini kerja tak buat.huhuhuhu

I started writing my thesis,while doing the research.thanks to some friends who suggested that.it rili helpful.kalau tak,tah jaman bila baru siap...ditambah pula masa tu I pregnant kan faris.agak tergendala gak le,tp I rasa the baby inside my womb ms tu was one of the motivation utk habiskan writing and submit asap.reason being,i tak mau menghadap thesis selepas beranak 2nd child.confirm akan lebih tertekan..

#macam dah panjang sgt.nanti sambung lain post lah.hahahaha

Loads of love, * Farah Jasni*

KHALAS!!!

Subhanallah, walhamdulillah, walailaha illallah, wallah hu akbar...

Praise to Allah.. Finally, I'm done!!! Alhamdulillah..

Just called Center of Postgrad Studies to confirm the status. Alhamdulillah. Good news it is. My thesis has been accepted, and InsyaAllah, my name will be included in October senate endorsement. By that, InsyaAllah, officially, I'm done!!!!! Yeayyyyyyyyyyyyy....

Over excited! Sangat anxious nak habis.. *padahal master je pun!*.. Maybe it's just me.. The journey to earn this degree terasa sangat lah berliku-liku.. Sempat  mengandung & beranak lagi satu okay, kau rasa?? Ha...punya lama nak menghabihkannya tu...!

Ask my husband, how many times that I mentioned I wanna quit and asked him to pay IIUM (my sponsor) for breaching the contract? Ask my Mama, how many liters of tears that I've wasted throughout the journey..

Alhamdulillah, finally, habis juga!

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Thank you Allah for finally letting me get done with this! Thank you hubby, for your patience, your motivation and your sacrifice supporting me throughout the journey. Thank you Fatin & Faris for being Mama's strength! Thanks Mama & Ayah for your endless support and love and motivation. And thanks all for your du'a...

Aku dah habis master weyhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Alhamdulillah. Boleh mula langkah yg baru utk tangga seterusnya.. Bismillah........

Mungkin aku dah kena mula memohon doa kalian semoga perjalanan PhD aku dipermudahkan... Hihihi... ;p

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Afakufu sefedihfih......

Assalamualaikum...

Safalamfam Jufumafaatfat..

Afakufu rafasafa sefedihfih hafarifi nihfih...

Oforangfang bufuatfat coforrectfektionfen sefemingfinggufu dufuafa jefe dahfah sefetelfel... Tafapifi afakufu dahfah mafasukfuk sefebufulanfan lefebihfih takfak lefepasfas-lefepasfas lafagifi...

Kafadangfang-kafadangfang rafasafa mafacamfam nakfak givefif upfup.. Efexafamifinerfer afakufu tufu..,tahfah nafapefe difiafa sufusahfah safangatfat nakfak lefepasfaskanfan afakufu.. Pafadafahalfal,dahfah dafapatfat unfunofffifcialfial refesultfult kotfot! Think I've met and discussed with him more than 5times already! And everytime we met, he found a new mistake on my thesis... And I feel like running around in circles!

He's supposed the check the correction that he has reviewed masa check thesis before viva hari tu.. Not finding the other mistakes and suddenly everything is a mistake!! What the heck..

Difiafa takfak tafahufu yangfang afakufu tungfunggangfang terferbafalikfik watfat research onfon myfy ownfown.. I did everything senfendifiri... Maybe that's why my thesis mafacamfam syokfok senfendifirifi! But if it is that bad,how come the external examiner (examiner from other uni) gave a good review and good marks. Even offered me to do PhD under his supervision in the same field.
Dahfah difiafa pufulakfak treat my thesis mafacamfam sefemufuafa takfak kefenafa!

Tafahun bilafa lafa afakufu bafarufu lehfeh subfabmitfit hard bound copy mafacamfam nifi... I need my damn degree la dude!!!!!!

Hafadoifoiiiiiiiiiii.... Safakitfit hafatifi dafakufu ifinifi....

Afawatfat sufusahfah safangatfat perferjafalafananfan masfasterfer afakufu nifi....

Mungfungkinfin kafafafarahfah dofosafa kotfot...........

Mafacamfam nifi pufunyafa sufusahfah...rafasafa tafakutfut nakfak proceed PhD...

Ya Allah,

Tuhan yang berkuasa membolak-balikkan hati....

Kasihani aku..

Tabahkan hatiku..

Lembutkan hatinya...

Permudahkanlah......

And I really feel like eating this....

 A LOT......

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Always be my star..

Assalamualaikum,

Soon, Educare will be organizing a sport's day. And during the sports' day, there will be a performance by a group of selected 3-4 years old students. Since last year, watching the kids performing, dancing so cute, I already put a hope that my baby girl will be one of them,performing, for this year's event.

So the time has come, sport's day is around the corner, they have started practicing since early of August. They *the teachers* will select the best out of all of 3-4 years students to join the performance group. I was nervous honestly, wondering whether my baby will be in..

Yesterday, I just got to know, Fatin is not selected to join the group.. I'm not going to lie, I am frustrated. But I think I know why.. I saw her practicing the other day, and from her expression, I knew, she didn't enjoy it. She was not giving attention of what teachers do when the teachers taught the dance step. She even made 'I-don't-want-to-do-this' face...

Hmmmm.......

Honestly, I am surprised. And worried. Why she didn't enjoy doing that at school, whilst she is sooo good at performing at home. She enjoys singing, dancing even acting *as mickey mouse, sometimes, team umizoomie and etc*.. At home, she is a happy, smart *from her mother's perspective lah..ahaks..* girl! But at school, she's the contrary!

Enche Suami and I talked about this yesterday. And how frustrated I am. And we came into conclusion, guess, it's just not her time to shine yet and that is not her stage! Maybe, as for the time being, her performance is just for exclusive audiences. And they are us, her family..

As long as we know, that her development is on par with her age, then nothing to worry.. She is just a lil bit shy with strangers. And her resistance showing her true self towards strangers is high, so that explains her behavior at school...  

And we *parents of Fatin & Faris* also decided, InsyaAllah, we'll try our best not to set standards for our children. You must achieve this, you must be selected into that and what so ever. From our point of view, that will only adding the tension and affect their development..

But, InsyaAllah, to ensure they have a good life later, maybe we can guide them to set their own target. And make them understand, the importance of having a good target. Giving them options and let them decide. Encouragement and endless support for them to reach their target..InsyaAllah..

So, it's ok Fatin! *Err..I think, 'it's ok Mama Fatin' is more appropriate actually.. Sebab Fatin tak ada perasaan pun tak terpilih, mama yg terlebih frust! Muahahaha..*

Mama nak Fatin tahu, yang Mama berbangga dengan Fatin every single day in your life since you were born! It's ok if you're not selected to be one of the stars, coz in my heart, you are always a star! I love you mucho mucho my baby girl!

Paling comel di hati ku.....

*I owe myself (sebab aku yg sendiri nak coret memori) a post about Faris' 1st day at school.. Tapi I decided to write on Fatin's story first, sbb rasa dah lama tak cerita pasal my lil princess yg ala-ala diva (di rumah sahaja,sila tahu!) itu..Hihihi..* 

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Shawl Fever!

Assalamualaikum...

Sejak azalinya,aku memang bukan 'shawl-friendly' punya orang! Tipu, kalau aku tak ada keinginan nak lilit-lilit macam orang buat tu..  Macam comel je tengok orang pakai. Kemas je.. Tapi tah mano silap eh, den pon tak tau..,asal den lilit, jadi cam mumia lak den ase.. *just to indicate the look is scary, instead of cute..Hihihi..*

Lepas tu, aku tengok orang lilit, elok je cover depan belakang *anything that should be covered by hijab lah..*. Bila aku lilit, sini pendek, sana tak cover..  Then Enche Jdai will give that stern look, dengan maksud tersirat 'GO BACK TO THE ROOM AND CHANGE!'.. Huhuhu...

I had once tried using pashmina instead. Kan pashmina lebar dan panjang.. Hasilnya,mmg cover, tapi serabainya la.. Ya rabbi.. Aku sendiri tak sanggup nak tengok.. Kenapa Wardina Saffiyah tu pakai comel je aku tengok?! Haiyo.. I very the confuse you know!

Tak masuk lagi bab 'total time taken to lilit the shawl'.. This thing about shawl memang paling Enche Jdai menyampah la..Everytime I stood in front of the mirror, with the shawl on my head, enche suami gave me that 'tak-payah-la-B,pleaseeeeeee' look...

Guess he hated it because, I will spend more than 30 min trying to get my shawl done, then lari-lari siapkan barang-barang anak or watso eva, then spend another 5-10 min in front of the mirror again, to touch up.. Hahaha.. Berbulu je member tunggu bini dia ni.. Oh jgn dilupakan, touch up lagi di dalam kereta.. Kalau hasil memuaskan hati, tak apa jugak, ini scary je jugak rupanya..Muahahahaha..

Because of that, I prefer to wear instant hijab *a.k.a tudung sarung* or kalau rajin sikit, pakai traditional tudung bawal.. Aku pasrah je la..,mungkin bukan takdir ku utk pakai shawl.. *wahh,dramatis gitu...*

BUT, recently, miracles just happened. Farahiyah Jasni dah pandai pakai shawl yawww.... *Haa....inilah contoh tepat untuk menerangkan maksud 'masuk bakul, angkat sendiri'!*.. Hahaha... Raya kali ni, semuanya baju pakai dengan shawl.. Setakat ni, tak dengar lagi enche abang complain.. *mungkin dia complain dalam hati, but, that doesn't count,sebab tak dilafazkan! Ahaks...* 

It starts when I bought a half-moon shawl from this quite-young lady... She convinced me, that a half-moon shawl is a lot more easier to put on for shawl-wearing-dummy like me.  So I tried..

Butterflies Half Moon Shawl..

Masa ni still tak confident wearing shawl without the aid of inner.. So I used inner with cap inside..But I noticed,the material is so comfortable and senang digayakan.. So I bought plain shawl for Eid..

3 of us.. Faris dalm buai, dah tidur di pagi raya.. (T_T).
Plain shawl ni gabungan long shawl and half moon. Long shawl,but curvy dekat hujung..

After a few trials, dah rasa confident sikit, I tried wearing shawl without inner.. Suprise, suprise, shawl tak jatuh melepek dekat muka ku yang bulat ini.. Boleh muncung di bahagian atas! Saya suka! Saya suka!

Farah, Fatin & Faris... Halfmoon shawl, without inner.. ;p

Half moon again.. Material lembut, tapi transparent sikit,so pakai dengan ninja inner..

Plain shawl, mustard.. Labuh menutup dada, cik abang pun tak bising.. Hahaha..

 

My favorite! Suka sangat combination color and the design..Dan labuh juga...

Shawl yg sama pakai waktu raya,tapi this time tak pakai inner! *Lengan nampak,sebab lengan baju tersinsing. Terpaksa tambah bulatan putih tu utk cover..Hihihihi..*

*Important note: I am sorry if the pictures above, of me wearing shawl, somehow giving you a sore eyes.. Hahahaha.. Mungkin aku perasan yg aku dah pandai pakai shawl. Pada mata aku, dah pandai sangat la tu pakai tu konon.. Kalau pada mata korang, serabai jugak, maafkan daku... Aku tak berniat nak sakitkan mata korang... Muahahaahhaa...*

All of the shawls above, I bought it from this quite-young lady tu lah! Actually,this quite-young lady ni is my cousin sister.. Hehehe.. So tujuan this post sedikit sebanyak nak mempromosikan her online shawl shop, 'oneairin' lah.. Tapi, tak tipu, utk shawl-wearing-dummy macam I ni, memang material dia helpful! Sedikit sebanyak menambah keyakinan diri utk memakai shawl.. Hahaha.. Kalau tak,camano urs truly yg mmg sengal pakai shawl berzaman-zaman ni tetiba boleh pulak pakai shawl kan.. Hahaha..

So kalau ada yg interested nak cuba-cuba dulu, check this quite-young lady punya instagram, "oneairin", or FB page, "oneairin".. Ada banyak color and design yg menarik.. Harga pun berpatutan.. Hehehe...

K lah.. That's all for today... Eh btw, today is Faris' 1st day at Educare.. Nanti I buat post camana keadaan dia on his 1st day, InsyaAllah.... Hihihi..

Wassalam, Bye..

*As always, kita doakan saudara-saudara kita yang sedang berjuang menegakkan panji Islam di seluruh dunia, ok.. Amin, amin, Ya Rabbal Alamin....*

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Hello......FOOD!

Assalamualaikum...

Faris is 5 and the half months now and he's ready for solid food. Some parent might want to stick to the 6months period before introducing solid to their babies. At first, that was my intention too.. But, seeing my dear baby drools everytime he sees people eat, I tak sampai hati. So I decided to start early...

So, yesterday (29/8/2013), for the first time, he ate something other than breastmilk!! Yeay.... I prepared a dates puree for him yesterday. Sounds kinda weird kan? Jarang-jarang dengar orang guna dates to introduce solid to babies.. But yesterday was an ad-hoc action it seems. I kesian tengok dia tenung Fatin makan cookies pastu terkunyah-kunyah, dan tidak dilupakan, efek air liur tu.. So, dengan pantasnya mama bukak fridge and tengok apa yg boleh dimagikkan jadi baby food.. Hehehe.. 

Unfortunately, we were out of fruits! And kalau boleh, I don't want make a puree of potatoes or carrot dulu.. Takut rasa tak sedap, dia fobia plak.. Boleh?? Hahahaha.. I nampak kotak black dates, written on it 'fresh unpitted dates', 'no additives, no alcohol'. So I peeled off the kulit, steamed and mashed it with breast milk. Alhamdulillah, Faris makan dengan berselera. But, I tak habiskan semua yg I mashed tu, sbb takut it was too sweet for Faris *tho due to kotak,it is purely dates' sweet.. No additional sugar*.. Karang hyper pulak bujang ku itu, tak tidur malam.. hehehe..

Today, I prepared a banana puree for his lunch.. Sama jugak prosesnya, 1 pcs of banana, steam it, and mashed it with 1oz of my milk.. 

The FOOD... A banana puree

The Big boss, ready for his lunch.. "I WANT MY FOOD! I WANT MY FOOD!"

How did he take it? Tengok lah sendiri.. hehehe..

Too slow.. Let me hold it by myself..

Yummy babehhh...

This food must come from heaven...

What look..look? I'm eating mann....

Got some more Mama?

Sorry..Finish licin my dear...U ate it all... - Mama-

Please make that 'food from heaven' some more for dinner ok, Mama

Alhamdulillah, he took it well. Very well in fact.. Habis licin satu mangkuk kot! Not bad for a 5.5 months old baby huh?

So k lah, Sekian sahaja laporan utk hari ini..

Btw, don't forget to pray for our brothers and sisters in Syria, Egypt & Palestine, okay! 
 

Wassalam. Bye! 

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Kalau Aku Tiba-tiba Jadi Kaya...

Assalamualaikum...

Sangap!! 4 chapters done, 2 more to go.. Orang lain buat correction kejap je, entah mengapa puan Farahiyah Jasni ni lama betul nak siapnya..! Banyak main, itu lah jadinya.. Huhuhuhu..

Korang pernah terfikir kalau tetiba korang dapat duit sedebuk depan mata, nak buat apa?

Kalau aku tetibe jadi kaya kan, aku nak beli ni...

1. 

Halford : Zuzz 4 Baby stroller

Sebab aku kesian dengan Faris, si baby debab aku tu naik stroller Fatin yg dah agak uzur. Pulak tu member berbadan semangat jitu, oleh itu, kadang-kadang roda pun dah mengeluarkan bunyi keruek-kruek tanda betapa seksanya dia nak tanggung weight anak aku tu..Hahaha... Inilah nasib 2nd child, selalu dapat barang terpakai....
Aku pilih Halford Zuzz 4 sebab aku rasa harga reasonable as compared to Quinny Zapp and design lebih stylish *sket la* daripada Maclaren.. Mengikut pandangan mata saya yg agak katak di bawah tempurung bab-bab brand ni ye... Hihihihi

2.

Sony Xperia SP smart phone

 

Smart kan? Smart kan? Aku dengan enche suami berangan nak beli phone ni suatu hari bila kiterang dapat rezeki melimpah ruah dari langit.. Hahaha.. Abang warna hitam, B warna putih.. Sehati sejiwa gitu.. *gediks tahap max.. Nyampah! Hahaha*

Sebab pilih yg ni, sebab enche suami kata phone ni spec dia best.. Boleh? Tak ada pendirian diri sungguh mu ni Farahiyah! And I just need a slightly more sophisticated phone than the one that I own now.. That's all.. Phone sekarang, Alhamdulillah, masih works well, at least boleh la acts as a smart phone (secara basic..). Tapi bila join whatsapp group yg ramai members and banyak conversation, dia pun mula lah nak hang.. Tak kasik can langsung! 

Plus, phone skang tak dak instagram!! Dan aku rasa sungguh ketinggalan zaman sebab tak ada Instagram.. Mama aku pun ada account Instagram! Tapi, entah kenapa rasa ketinggalan pun tak tau.. Bukannya ada siaran berita dunia ke hape kat Instagram tu... Hihihihi...

3.

Avent 2-in-1 steamer and blender

Ini adalah steamer dan blender dalam satu device. Canggih bukan? Mendalah ini adalah untuk memudahkan proses membuat makanan bayi.. Mula-mula kita steam the raw material, such as carrot, apple or whatsoever, then kita terus blend.. Best kan?

Memandangkan Faris dah hampir 6 bulan dan memang dah ready sangat for solid, since dia selalu tenung makanan yg kami makan macam nak telan je dengan sudu-sudu sekali, siap dengan efek air liur meleleh, jadi, si mama ni dah fikir-fikir penyediaan suitable solid food for him. Tetiba terjumpa device ni.. Wallaweii.., kagum seyy.. Senang je.. Terbalik-balikkan je...

Tetapi melihatkan harganya, iaitu 300++, si mama terus merasakan macam not worth it je.. Sebab nak pakai steamer bukan lama sangat. Nanti dah start porridge, tak ada nak steam pun. Lagipun steamer yg ada jadi hiasan dalam kitchen cabinet tu nak buat apa?? Jadi adalah lebih save kalau mama beli new blender je, khas for Faris' food..Lebih jimat.. Tapi ini kisah kalau aku miskin macam sekarang, kalau aku kaya, setakat tiga ratus macam duit jajan je, memang aku angkat mendalah ni.. Confirm! Hehehe...

4.

Korang tau ni apa? Ini adalah rak kasut! Ha...apa ke jadahnya papa kedana sangat urs truly korang ni sampai rak kasut pun kena tunggu rezeki dari langit?? Hahahahaha.. Sekarang kami tak ada rak kasut proper.. Dan kami berangan nak beli rak kasut yg bertutup, so that our house will look neat and tidy from outside.. Sekarang letak kasut dalam open rack, and agak kecil utk capacity kasut kami 4 beranak *macamlah si baby tu pakai kasut beriya..ahaks..*, jadi, macam serabut sket lah.. Walaubagaimanapun, memandangkan aku tengah cerita kalau aku kaya, jadi aku nak angkat rak kasut canggih macam gambar ni.. Boleh pusing-pusing-pusing, tarik-tarik.. Bahagian yg kanan tu leh simpan payung ke, helmet ke, jacket enche suami ke.. Nice kan?


Sebenarnya banyak benda lagi nak beli kalau kaya..

Tengok tu, ada ke ingat nak bagi sedekah juta-juta kat anak yatim ke, tabung palestine ke, syria ke, egypt ke.. Kann??

Sebab tu agaknya Tuhan bagi aku rezeki cukup-cukup untuk kami anak beranak.. Alhamdulillah.. Kalau tidak, tah hape-hape yang dibelinya..

K lah.. good day u'ols... :)

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Pillow Talk

Assalamualaikum,

Ooppss, title hari ni macam panas-panas gitu.. Don't worry, the content is safe to be read by semua peringkat..

Since we have Faris in our life, I somehow feel there's distance between me and Enche Suami. Bukanlah distance literally, I mean, macam jarang nak sembang about you and me, about us.. *wahh..,gitu..*. 

Ye lah, now that we've got more responsibility, I'm busy with my work, so does he. And we have 2 children to take care of, a house to be managed and macam-macam lagi.. So there's not much time to talk about each other. Most of the conversation, is about Fatin & Faris, about financial stuff, household and things like that. Macam susah sangat nak talk about 'how was your day?' kind of stuff..

Pulak tu, our workplace jauh-jauh.. Enche suami kat PJ sana, I dekat Gombak.. So nak buat lunch date pun macam susah la.. My parents, when both of them were still working, selalu buat lunch date. Ayah came to Mama's office to pick her up, then they went lunch together. Masa tu lah they had their 'you-and-me talk' kot.. At least,once a week la.. In my case, tak seswai, sebab jauh.. Habis masa on the road je.. Lunch nya kejap,pastu dah rushing balik tempat kerja masing-masing.. Huhuhuhu..

I guess *and I hope* it is normal when we have new member in the family. We need time to adjust and of course the priority is on the responsibility. Kan? Serabut kot, dengan baby, dengan very-talkative-and-attention-seeker girl,rumah and etc..Rasanya masa mula-mula dapat Fatin dulu pun ada go through the same situation. But,things were back to normal as Fatin grew up..  Sedar tak sedar,macam ok balik..

Despite the acceptable reasons of this situation, I do think, if it's possible, then it is better to find the solution asap. Otherwise, bahaya jugak kalau kita tak tau apa masalah spouse, kita kurang perhatian dengan hidup dia, tetibe tau-tau dah ada cawangan pulak! Ehhh......ke situ pulak peginya eh?? Hahahaha...
*Enche suami, bukan I su'u dzan ye...I tengah discussing the issue..Jangan marah.. I lap u..Hahaha..*

Tu yang terjumpa pasal pillow talk ni.. For me, pillow talk does not necessarily ended up with, you know, 'ehem-ehem' *parental advise statement! Hahaha...* 

It can just be an HONEST conversation between a husband & wife to tighten the bond. Sambil baring-baring sebelum tidur *of course selepas anak-anak dah tidur lah! Kalau anak-anak tak tidur lagi, maka diorang lah yang menyibuk kat tengah-tengah...Hahaha..*, talk about how was ur class today ke, correction ok ke, makan apa ke... Sounds simple, but personal.. Just a story about you and me.. Wrap it up with bermaaf-maafan session, a goodnite kiss maybe,then tidur..  *hanya utk suami isteri yang sah ye! Sila tahu...*

Tak banyak, sikit pun ok.. At least, kita tahu apa yg terjadi dengan hidup pasangan kita hari tu..,apa masalah dia hari tu..Kan?

Well, guess we should implement this, kan Enche Suami? Haha.. Anyway, one might think that I mengada post things like this dekat blog.. Propose directly dekat Enche Suami lah, kenapa tulis dekat blog.. Memang I akan propose dekat husband *in case dia tak baca post ini lah..hahaha*, tetapi tujuan utama I post dekat blog adalah utk share the concept.. Kot-kot ada yang mengalami masalah yg sama, maka boleh sama-sama take this alternative as an option.. Kalau mau la, kalau ada solution yg lebih gempak, share lah jugak.. Boleh urs truly consider jugak.. Sharing kan caring... hihi..

So k lah... Happy Thursday semua!! 

Wassalam...

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Let's Pray...

Assalamualaikum,

My dear friends..,

Let's just take a few seconds of our time, to pray for the safety and well-being of our Muslim brothers & sisters all over the world... In Egypt, in Syria, in Palestine.. Everywhere..

They are in hardship. They are in pain... Their pain, is ours too...

Pray for them... Lets..

 

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Educare students..

Now, this girl is the only Educare student in our home

Soon,

InsyaAllah...

Alhamdulillah, Faris has been offered to enroll to Educare this coming September..

Offer letter yg dinanti-nanti..

I'm excited, at the same time, I'm worried *I'm a mother! that's what I do best..worrying! ;p*

Alhamdulillah, Faris teacher-to-be was Fatin's teacher when she first entered Educare back in 2010. Teacher Murni... I knew her, and I trust her to take care of my kids. The other 2 teachers, tak sure lagi siapa. But I'm sure they are good people and will take care of my baby like their own. 

In fact, all of the teachers are trained, and this center is recognized by Jabatan Kebajikan Malaysia, and it's a breastfeeding-friendly daycare center.  The teachers are trained to handle expressed breast milk and feed breastfed baby.

Sebab itu lah si Mama *and I percaya ramai mama2 yg lain* ini sanggup tunggu berbulan-bulan nak masukkan jugak Faris dekat Educare sama dengan Fatin. Haha.. Desperado sungguh..

BUT, through experience, they are risk that Faris will be exposed to various kinds of contagious disease. Yg common, selsema, batuk... Yg agak dasyat, chicken pox, diarrhea and HFMD. So, I have to be ready of the endless episodes of selsema & batuk.. Anyway, I'm praying hard that my lil boy is much tougher that her sister and tak kena jangkit langsung! Boleh? Hahaha... And I'm planning to start giving him Scott Emulsion, tapi setelah meng'google', there's no dosage guidance for infant below 12months. Therefore, that plan had to wait... Nanti Faris dah setahun, boleh la start bagi..

So, ok.. Doakan Faris happy & enjoy his time at Educare. Harap-harap semuanya baik-baik sahaja.. Amin..

So, happy schooling adik Faris!

My 5months lil boy. He's 7.8kg and 67cm long now.. Faris tengah buat breakdance..Hahahaha

 



 

Nawaitu

Luruskan niat.dalam apa jua yg mahu dilakukan,luruskan niat.kalau diniatkan ibadah,kerana Allah,insyaALLAH,yg susah menjadi mudah,yg sempit menjadi luas,yg gelap menjadi terang..bukan kerana perkara itu jadi lebih mudah,luas atau terang bila niat kerana Allah,tp kerana hati lebih redha,tenang dan tabah menghadapi cubaan.

termenung memuhasabah diri,jadi terfikir,mungkin inilah silapnya..niatku sasar,terlalu mengharap duniawi,walaupun perjuanganku,menuntut ilmu,adalah sesuatu yg disukai Tuhan..perjalanan masih jauh.byk yg perlu aku perbetulkan.aku mahu mulakan,dgn perubahan di hati,niatku.
ya allah,tuhan yg membolakbalik hati,pelihara nawaitu,agar sntiasa menjurus pd redha Mu..

Mari,kita perbetulkan niat. Bismillah...

Masanya dah tiba..

Dapat panggilan memberitahu masanya dah hampir tiba.Saat yang aku nanti-nantikan dah tiba.pengakhiran sebuah perjalanan,insyaallah...

Tapi kenapa,aku pulak yang cemas semacam.haihhh...

Allah,permudahkanlah..lancarkanlah... Agar indah tamatnya,agar tenang aku memulakan satu lg langkah baru...

Amin,amin, ya rabbal alamin....

GAIT

Assalamualaikum! Ramadhan Mubarak people! 

Alhamdulillah, we are blessed with another chance to meet Ramadhan this year.. Whether or not we'll be breathing and healthy to meet Syawal, Wallah hu a'lam.. So, while we are still here, on the earth, lets grab this opportunity to make this Ramadhan as the best, InsyaAllah..

If I remember correctly, I have never really talked bout what am I doing actually for my master's research project. Kan? Ke ada eh? Perasan macam tak ada.. Hihihi..

Anyway, I'm going to describe in brief of what I did. My thesis title is 'Locomotion Gait Pattern Development for Quadruped Walking Robot'... Title nak gempak je kan.. Padahal simple je.. Hihi.. To explain the title in simple words, actually, I'm developing the control algorithm to make the quadruped robot (quadruped = 4-legged) walks.. Ha..,simple je kan?

The keyword there is Gait, and quadruped. Gait is actually a pattern of how the legs are coordinated. For instance, walking, then we have certain pattern of moving the legs to make us walk. Then jumping, ada different of leg coordination plak to make us jump. Basically that's the idea. In my case, I'm doing the gait development for 4-legged robot.

U know what, doing this research made me feel so amazed with Allah's Wisdom. It's not that easy to control legs mann.. Looks like simple, but actually, nope, it is not! Believe me..

Do u guys noticed that while walking, we don't even have to think, which leg we want to lift first *unless you are marching lah..kena make sure sama dengan org lain..hehe*, and how high do we need to lift our leg, the timing, the stability, everything! No right? We just walk! And when we think we need to run, we just run! To be frank people, to control even 2 legs, without additional load *for instance,carrying some stuff with our hands* is such a tedious work! But Allah has created us with such a complex control system that we don't have to think about it.. Subhanallah..

The secret of being able to do that is called the Central Pattern Generator (CPG). CPG consists of sets of neural cells that are found located in our spine *for most vertebrates* and this CPG is actually responsible in generating the rhythmic pattern *same movement that are repeated over and over like walking* without even have to bother the brain to do that. Otherwise interrupted, then only the brain will make a command whether to stop or change the pattern etc.

For instance, we need to go to kedai to buy things, and we need to walk, so brain sends command, 'CPG,generate walking pattern', so CPG produce the pattern and muscles follow,and we walk.. Tengah jalan, suddenly kereta gila lalu and almost hit us, then brain quickly sends new comman,'CPG, terminate walking pattern! Stop!'. Then we'll stop.. Cursing a few lines to that crazy driver *ini bukan under jobscope CPG..Sila tahu! ;p*, then we need to walk again, so brain hanta command to walk again. Then tah dari mana, a dog suddenly decided to be angry and chase us, so brain send new command,'CPG, generate running pattern. Fast one!'. Then we'll be running like hell..

Basically, macam tu lah.. Interesting isn't it? Subhanallah.. Such a Creator! Just imagine that you'll have to think how to walk everytime you want to walk, or run, or jump, or even breath.. Letih la kan? Mesti otak selalu hang.. So, the great Creator, Allah, dah simplified dah the task. Oleh itu, mari kita memuji Pencipta Agung itu... Subhanallah..

Thus, in my research work, I'm implementing that idea, the biological idea of CPG to develop the control algorithm for my 4-legged robot. So, itulah yg your truly dok kerjakan all these while.. Interesting, challenging and sometimes heartbreaking. But Alhamdulillah, managed to finally come out with a thesis about it. And InsyaAllah, planning to dig more on this topic for PhD.. Kalau diizinkan Tuhan lah.. We'll see how first lah..

Ok, to close the post, I embedded a youtube video of this small guy practicing his GAIT... hehehe.. enjoy!



      

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

It's conference day!

Assalamualaikum...,

It's conference day!

+usb with presentation slides - checked!
+prepare simple breakfast - checked!
+breastpump n accessories - checked!
+kiss n hug anak-anak n ayah anak ;p - checked!

Insyaallah,i'm ready to go... oh,on gps! pray for me friends!

Breastfeeding journey,season 2...

Assalamualaikum sisters n brothers,

Alhamdulillah, we survived from haze! Hahaha... It was rili terrible and uncomfortable here in Gombak during the haze attack last few weeks. Paling kesian dengan kids and babies lah. Even kita orang tua pun rasa macam sesak nak bernafas, apatah lagi diorang! Anyway, Alhamdulillah, Allah had saved us all from that..

Actually, I'm just done doing my presentation slides for conference tomorrow. I'll be presenting my paper on that conference, InsyaAllah. Actually, start hari ni, tetapi, saya yang pemalas ini malas nak join today's sessions. So I'll join tomorrow's session je lah! Plus, tomorrow ada invited keynote speakers from University of Nevada, Las Vegas and University of Melbourne. My current SV advised me to go and meet them. Mana tahu leh jadi potential SV for PhD.. *wink, wink*

Ok, masih tak masuk tajuk lagi.. Camana nak get rid of this not -straight-to-the-point habit ni eh? Camano nak jadik lecturer ni, cerita pusing sana,pusing sini.. Huhuhuhu..

SEBENARNYA, I nak cerita pasal breastfeeding. Season 2 sebab this is my 2nd time. Alhamdulillah, I managed to breastfeed Fatin for 2years ++. She weaned off totally when I was pregnant for Faris. Maybe susu dah rasa tak sedap, or probably there's no milk at all.. Haha..

So far, Faris is still exclusively breastfed. No additional food or drinks. Totally breast milk. And InsyaAllah, I'm planning to stick to that until he is 6months old or until he is ready for solid. 

Breastfeeding wise, generally, is more or less similar to Fatin's time. But Fatin was a bit lucky that I only left her for classes when she was almost 6months. And most of the time, she was with me, so I can just direct fed anytime she needed it.  And I guess I started to actively pumping and storing EBM only when she started to go to Educare. She was already 9months old at that time. 

To be honest, pumping and storing wise, I was not really successful. Ibaratnya macam kais pagi,makan pagi, kais petang makan petang lah! I pumped for the next day supply. At first, macam survived lagi, since during that time Fatin rejected feeding via bottle! So milk consumption was not that much. But, after I changed her bottle to different brand, then she started to consume more milk, I dah start sesak nafas dah nak mencukupkan stock. Hihihi.. 

Akhirnya, when she was 1 year and 3 months old (if I'm not mistaken), I already supplied formula for her at school. When she was at home, I direct fed je lah.. Sedih sangat masa tu.. Rasa macam loser je sebab tak mampu nak supply only breast milk to my daughter! However, I pasrah je lah, sebab my priority at that time was my child's well being. Rather than she got insufficient nutrition, then lebih baik bagi je formula..

BUT, this time around, I am determined to try my best to give Faris breast milk as long as I can. In fact, I started to store EBM quite early. Masa dalam pantang dah store dah. Maybe it's easier for me to discipline myself this time since I start to leave him with nanny quite early (3months old). And so far, I stick to my 3 times pumping session at office, from 930am to 415pm. Alhamdulillah, so far, I managed to get almost 20oz a day from that 3 sessions.
 
I guess, the most important thing in breastfeeding and pumping is the mind set. Kalau kita set it is burdening and hard to do, then jadi susah lah. As for me, I'm blessed with so many facilities that are breast-pumping friendly. Individual office, sink just a few steps from my office, convenient pump (am pumping while typing this ;p ) and of course great health, Alhamdulillah! So I have no reason actually not to pump. Kalau malas jugak, memang nak kena ketuk lah. Kufur nikmat namanya! Huhuhu... Ada orang yang tak bernasib baik, Allah tak bagi rezeki menyusukan anak sebab tak sihat, tak ada susu and etc. Jadi sila ingat Pn Farahiyah, you are so blessed to be able to do that, so jangan sia-siakan! DISCIPLINE!

InsyaAllah... Hopefully, for this 2nd season, my breastfeeding journey will be better, longer and efficient! Amin.. Oh ya, I'm also determined to take supplement every day so that the milk produced will be healthier and rich with nutrition.. Hehe.. 

Wish me luck ok! And to all mommies who's currently breastfeeding and storing EBM for your child, all the best! Let's all GANBATTE together ok! Hehe..

 

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Faris and babysitter...

Assalamualaikum,

Since the que for faris' turn to be enrolled in educare is still long way to go,we finally decided to find another solution.we hire a daily maid.punch in at 9am and out at 5pm.sambil-sambil jaga faris,she can also doing some house chores.kill 2 birds wif 1 stone.hehe.

i knew dis 'kakak' quite sometime already.she previously worked for my mama then she went back to kampung and recently came back n up for work! So alhamdulillah,she agreed.

Yesterday was d first day she came.kinda training day lah.nak familiarize herself wif faris n house..

House thingy,she's tiptop.quick learner.faris?huhuhu,my son rili spoiled d training session lah.he refused feeding via bottle.and everytime he saw me around,he cried like crazy.terus tak mau acik..dah pandai mengenal org pulak dah!

I heard frm friends,it's easier to leave children to the bbsitter/nursery while they are still very young.my baby is just 3mnths old.that is not cnsidered young meh?

Hmmm,in cnclusion,ysterday's training session was a failure.tak apa,kita cuba lagi..nampak gayanya,minggu ni mama tak boleh tinggal dulu.dibuatnya dia mogok tak mau minum susu,naya!

Faris,be a good boy ok!mama hv to go to work..kalau faris macam ni,camana mama nak senang hati g kerja..
*teringat memories on fatin's 1st day in educare.sampai demam-demam syg mama menangis seharian.she was 9mnths old masa start hantar.hari rabu start hantar,jumaat dah MC,demam.hahaha..*

Wish us luck eh!btw,hari ni nak bawak faris g jab.lesson learnt frm last time,make sure duit extra,and no superheros romper utk mengelakkan malu bila anak menangis m'gegar klinik.hahaha..

Bye,wassalam

Journey to be a MASTER.....

Assalamualaikum....sabahulkhair..

Dah subuh semuanya? Hmm,di pagi hari ni,i memenungkan diri thinking bout life. One of it is about my studies.

Quite sure dat i've mentioned somewhere in this blog that i've submitted my thesis back in january..2nd january 2013 to be exact.

However.....,until this very day,i'm still waiting for my viva voce.btw,viva is the oral examination regarding the research work done and the thesis submitted.

Haihhhhh......it's almot 5months kot! kang ku katakan sesetengah pihak tak efficient,marah pula... ku katakan sesetengah pihak tak bertanggungjawab sebab keep procastinating their task of examining my thesis before the viva,sentap pula..

Dah la the research journey was not that 'cheerful'.byk juga drama airmata and pancaroba...

Dah submit pun banyak pula ceritanya.nasib badan....

Well,i believe dat Allah has plan for me.maybe things will be better for PhD,insyaALLAH..

I nekad,i will try my very best to complete my phd in 3years time..fresh start,new spirit,insyaAllah...

ganbatte farahiyah chan!!! fatin,faris..,doakan mama tau!!

The Price That I Have to Pay...

*Note : this post was written on 20th may,tapi tak dan nk meng'publish'kannya..hehe..* Assalamualaikum u'ols...,   today i brought faris for his 2nd month jab at a clinic nearby our house. Ok,i admit,we were a bit late.almaklumla,orang beranak kecik,macam-macam lah halnya..   when we reached the clinic,they were a lot of people waiting already.so i stopped at the counter to register,but they were one more patient was registering at that time.Since the patient before me *at the registration counter* took quite some time to register and faris was restless n it's hard for me to handle him with one of my hand holding the card and carrying my large handbag *note: once u have children,it is advisable to have a bigger handbag for baby stuff storage purpose..hahaha*,i just signaled the nurse that i will leave my card there n plz do anything necessary to get faris name in the que.   Took one of the seat and tried to calm faris down.alhamdulillah,he settled down eventually. 1 hour passed,we were still not being called.faris started to feel uncomfortable.luckily i did brought my nursing cover along,so i breastfed him there..he was calm and fell asleep. I kept changing the position of holding him since lenguh bahu and tangan dukung with 1 position for a long time. Not long after that,we were called to weigh and measure his height.  Patutlah lenguh betul bahu mama ni dik oi,your current weight is 6.2kg! Kus semangat anak ku... His height is 60cm.. Alhamdulillah,my bujang teruna membesar bagaikan juara...   Then we waited to see the doctor.2 hours passed,still,no call. Haiyo..... Tangan dah tak terasa ni. Kebas dah... Perut pun dah lapar. Faris was not rili sleeping after the weighing session.. Guess dia marah since his sleep was interrupted earlier. Tried to breastfeed him once again,dia dah tak mau dah.. Maybe he wasn't feeling cmfortable feeding under the cover dalam keadaan dia tak selesa camtu...penat tak dapat baring betul-betul maybe..   So he started to on his siren,and both of us suddenly became the main attraction among the patients.semua org tengok i dok memujuk org bujang ni..yang lebih memalukan,i pakaikan romper 'superman' hari ni.jadi memang memalukan lah bila 'superman' mama ni menangis sampai bergegar klinik sebab tak selesa je..huhuhuhu...camano nak selamatkan dunia ni..hehe...   Finally,we were called.the doc apologized for the wait.it took only 5 min to take the shot and of course,my superman was crying like been severely abused lah sbb kena jab tu.so i rushed to the payment counter to settle the bill.so boleh rushing to the car and turn on the aircond and breastfeed faris.    The nurse said,'100'...   I was shocked. Hah?? 100?? Oh mannnnn.... I had only rm60 cash in my purse.. Where the hell am i going to find another 40 at  that time.. There's no atm nearby. And unluckily, they don't accept credit card nor debit card.. Padan muka sendiri, tak buat research what is the cost for 5 serangkai shot. Masa 1month hari tu, kena RM55 je.. Including ubat selsema untuk Fatin sekali.. Kali ni, without medicine, kena RM100.. So dengan muka kesian, i told the kakak that i only had 60 cash... That kakak smiled and said, 'tak apa,nanti bayar balance ptg karang...'   waduh,waduh...kalut sungguh la..with faris crying like a baby *nasib baik dia mmg baby,hehe* and cash tak cukup nak settle bill! I think,people that see me over there will feel pity for me.mcm ibu tunggal yg sungguh kasihan gitu...hahaha....   I quickly brought faris to the car and breasfed him.barulah dia minum dgn tenang.sambil tu i termenung memikirkan nasib and pikir atm mana i nak bawak my cranky son untuk withdraw duit langsaikan hutang dgn klinik,plus,kat mana nak beli makanan *selepas withdraw duit*.... Kalau call enche suami soh hanta duit pun,tunggu dia dtg dari pj nun,mcm buang masa je.nak singgah atm,dlm keadaan faris tengah mood tak baik tu wasn't rili a good idea.   finally,dgn rasa berat hati,i call my ayah.actually,if possible,i don't want to trouble my parents with my problem.dah nak masuk 3series pun,masalah kecik-kecik tak leh nak setel sendiri..harapkan mama n ayah.  Tapi nak buat camano,tadi kes darurat.hahaha..so,my dad lah yg me'rescue'kan saya dari berhutang dgn klinik dan mengisi perut yang dah masuk angin kelaparan...hahaha... Kalau ingat-ingat,memang malu..Well,that's the price that i have to pay for being a mother..betapa tak larat,betapa tak selesa menunggu bukan main lama dengan gendong a cranky baby seberat 6.2kg,betapa malu duit tak cukup nak settle bill,betapa lapar,perut tak berisi,demi anak,redah juga lah... Superman debab mama...

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Mother of 2..

Assalamualaikum u'ols...

Alhamdulillah,after almost 2months plus menumpang at my parents',last 3weeks we were back home to our lil hut.

Now that we are staying at our home,maknanya start lah my life as mama of 2.memang lah sejak faris was born,i dah ada 2 anak.but,menguruskan 2 anak sendiri,secara teknikalnya,belum lg.since at my parents',i got a lot of help and support frm my family masa staying at my parents' house..

Bila i mandi contohnya,mama or ayah ada tolong tengokkan anak-anak kot si adik menangis ke,or si kakak nak apa-apa ke..and all these while since i bersalin,ayah yg pick up fatin from school every evening.

So sekarang, semua kena buat sendirian berhad. Penat, memang penat. Fatin ada karenah dia, Faris pun ada karenah dia. House chores lagi. By 930pm tu, memang I dah melepek dah merehatkan badan. Hahaha.. But so far, so good. Alhamdulillah. Kalau orang lain boleh manage, takkan I tak boleh pulak. Mahu tak mahu, kena adjust lah..

Among the interesting experience is driving with 2 children on board. Sejak Faris lahir, memang I dah surrender kerja hantar and pick up Fatin from school. Pagi, Enche suami yang hantar, and petang, my Ayah pick her up. But now that we are no longer staying at Atok's house, takkan nak susahkan Atok lagi jemput Fatin dari sekolah. And since Enche Suami selalu sampai lambat, jadi, sayalah yang harus menjemput anak dara itu dari sekolah. Kenalah diangkut si baby ini sekali.  Hari pertama, debar-debar juga. Takut Faris meragam dalam kereta. Syukur, ok je.. Kedua-dua anak behave.

Alhamdulillah, Fatin's car seat masa baby dulu still good to be used. Jadi, ada 2 lah car seat dalam Myvi kami yang comel tu. Haha..Satu adik punya, satu kakak punya. Kalau nak bergerak 4 beranak, ngam-ngam choi je tempat duduk. Ayah drive, Fatin dekat car seat sebelah ayah jadi co-driver *kunun*, Mama & adik duduk belakang. Amekaww, dah macam tin sardin.. Haha.. Tak apa, ada rezeki kita beli kereta besar, InsyaAllah.

Siang, at home dengan Faris, I buat kerja rumah masa Faris tidur. Dia tidur, lari jap, kot nak masak ke, sidai baju ke, sapu rumah ke. Ada sehari tu, I masak dua jam! Sebab Faris meragam. Masak sikit, tutup api, entertain dia dulu. Pastu sambung, pastu lari balik layan Faris. Akhirnya, selepas 2 jam, baru selesai masak. Belum masak rendang lagi tu nox.. Hahaha..

Kebetulan sekarang, I tengah train Fatin for potty training. Yeah, it was a bit late to start... Huhuhu.. Masa pregnant dah start sikit-sikit. Tak larat.. Sekarang dah bergerak aktif, baru start secara hard core. And school pun dah start train. Jadi during weekends, I sambung je.. So far so good. But tipulah kalau no accident at all. Ada sehari tuh, I had to mop rumah 3 kali! Nasib baik rumah den sekangkang kera je.. Itu pun lenguh pinggang!

Alamak, semobyan telah berbunyi.. Got to go.. 

Bye.. Wassalam...

Tanggal 13 Mei...

 Assalamualaikum..

Apa khabar u'ols? Harap semuanya baik-baik sahaja.

In this post, I would like to keep one of my bitter memories.. I lost my beloved nenek on 13th of may 2013.

It's been 7 days now, but the pain of losing her is still felt... *in fact my tears are falling right now while i'm typing.. :( *

She was admitted to the hospital on Friday (10th of may) for severe dehydration. a day before she had diarrhea and high fever. I went to visit her on Friday and Saturday evening. Did not go to the hospital on Sunday. Since it was not rili convinient to bring 2 children (and 1 of them is a baby) along to the hospital frequently. So I decided not to go on Sunday, but planned to visit her on Monday instead. Since Fatin will be sent to school, so i just need to bring Faris along and can asked for Mama's help to look after Faris for a while, while I go upstairs visiting nenek.

Who knows, the plan didn't work out, since nenek passed away on Monday morning before I had the chance to execute the plan.. And it is sooooo regrettable. Ralatnya terasa sampai hari ni.. Allah hu akbar..

Even worse, she went, when we were given a hope that nenek's condition was better on the day before. I was told that she was getting better on Sunday *since I didn't visit her*. She could talk, she made jokes, she laughed. 
And the very next day, she went to meet the Creator. At the moment that I least expected. I thought she's gonna be okay. She will be released from the hospital soon.. She kept saying that she wanted to go home.
'Nak balik..', she said.
And who knows, she was actually wanting to go back to the Creator..  

I was very closed to nenek. In fact, all 9 of us (my siblings and my cousins). She took care of us when we was young, even after we grew up. She was like a parent to us. And her sudden lost do hurt all of us much.

Ya Allah, 

Aku pohon, rahmati nenek ku..

Selamatkan dia daripada seksaan dan azab kubur dan api neraka,

sesungguhnya dia seorang hamba Mu yang baik budi pekerti, penyayang dan sangat mengasihani,

sesungguhnya dia seorang wanita dan ibu yang tabah, membesarkan anak-anak seorang diri tanpa adanya seorang lelaki bernama suami,

dia pernah menderita dan terseksa di dunia, namun dia tetap sujud dan percaya segalanya adalah ujian daripadaMu tanda kasih dan sayang Mu pada dia..

maka aku pinta Ya Allah, ringankan deritanya, permudahkan 'hidup'nya di alam sana..

Amin... Ya Rabbal Alamin..

Nenek, 
Along sayang nenek sangat-sangat. Baik-baik di sana ye. InsyaAllah, doa kami, anak-anak dan cucu-cucu mu takkan putus dari sini buat nenek... InsyaAllah, diizinkan Tuhan, kita bertemu di syurga nanti ye, Amin....

Fatin Amani, Faris Rusydi, ini Unyang kalian. Salah seorang wanita yang paling Mama sayang dalam dunia ni. Semoga kita dapat bertemu Unyang semula di syurga kelak, InsyaAllah..

  

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*