Tanggal 13 Mei...

 Assalamualaikum..

Apa khabar u'ols? Harap semuanya baik-baik sahaja.

In this post, I would like to keep one of my bitter memories.. I lost my beloved nenek on 13th of may 2013.

It's been 7 days now, but the pain of losing her is still felt... *in fact my tears are falling right now while i'm typing.. :( *

She was admitted to the hospital on Friday (10th of may) for severe dehydration. a day before she had diarrhea and high fever. I went to visit her on Friday and Saturday evening. Did not go to the hospital on Sunday. Since it was not rili convinient to bring 2 children (and 1 of them is a baby) along to the hospital frequently. So I decided not to go on Sunday, but planned to visit her on Monday instead. Since Fatin will be sent to school, so i just need to bring Faris along and can asked for Mama's help to look after Faris for a while, while I go upstairs visiting nenek.

Who knows, the plan didn't work out, since nenek passed away on Monday morning before I had the chance to execute the plan.. And it is sooooo regrettable. Ralatnya terasa sampai hari ni.. Allah hu akbar..

Even worse, she went, when we were given a hope that nenek's condition was better on the day before. I was told that she was getting better on Sunday *since I didn't visit her*. She could talk, she made jokes, she laughed. 
And the very next day, she went to meet the Creator. At the moment that I least expected. I thought she's gonna be okay. She will be released from the hospital soon.. She kept saying that she wanted to go home.
'Nak balik..', she said.
And who knows, she was actually wanting to go back to the Creator..  

I was very closed to nenek. In fact, all 9 of us (my siblings and my cousins). She took care of us when we was young, even after we grew up. She was like a parent to us. And her sudden lost do hurt all of us much.

Ya Allah, 

Aku pohon, rahmati nenek ku..

Selamatkan dia daripada seksaan dan azab kubur dan api neraka,

sesungguhnya dia seorang hamba Mu yang baik budi pekerti, penyayang dan sangat mengasihani,

sesungguhnya dia seorang wanita dan ibu yang tabah, membesarkan anak-anak seorang diri tanpa adanya seorang lelaki bernama suami,

dia pernah menderita dan terseksa di dunia, namun dia tetap sujud dan percaya segalanya adalah ujian daripadaMu tanda kasih dan sayang Mu pada dia..

maka aku pinta Ya Allah, ringankan deritanya, permudahkan 'hidup'nya di alam sana..

Amin... Ya Rabbal Alamin..

Nenek, 
Along sayang nenek sangat-sangat. Baik-baik di sana ye. InsyaAllah, doa kami, anak-anak dan cucu-cucu mu takkan putus dari sini buat nenek... InsyaAllah, diizinkan Tuhan, kita bertemu di syurga nanti ye, Amin....

Fatin Amani, Faris Rusydi, ini Unyang kalian. Salah seorang wanita yang paling Mama sayang dalam dunia ni. Semoga kita dapat bertemu Unyang semula di syurga kelak, InsyaAllah..

  

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*