Thanks for stopping by at this blog that tells stories about life of a simple woman who is ambitious and always wish to be the best.A wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend.A woman with a lot of dreams.A woman who loves and needs to be loved. A woman who cares and need to be cared of.
Welcome to the blog of Farah Jasni:Story Of My Life..
Been a while since I last posted sometin here.. Been busy with some stuffs..
Some updates, Alhamdulillah, I've been accepted for the Academic Trainee position by UIA. Sangat bersyukur for the nikmah. I was really hoping for that. And praise to Allah for make it easy and fast for me. I submitted the form on April, I was called for an interview on 13th of May, and knew the result 2 weeks after that (though the Kakak that I called to ask about the result was quite kerek!),and received the offer letter the same week, so again, Thank you Allah for that....And Alhamdulillah, Dyana (one of my babes ;p) pon dapat the offer..Ngeee :D
Sket citer pasal interview. A very short interview, I can say.. Tak sampai 5min kot.. I was not even asked to introduce myself! Masuk je, baru nak adjust-adjust kedudukan, one of the senate members asked, whether I have finished my Masters or still on-going. So I said, I'm still doing my Masters and actually planning to change to UIA instead of continuing at UiTM. So they asked how many sem left in UiTM to complete, I answered about 3 sem, then they said, ok la, no problem, since you've just started. Then, they asked about hubby. Lecturing kat mana.., subject apa and stuff.. Pastu dah. Leh keluar.. Terkebil-kebil jugak la I neh.. Aik,sekejap je.. Hehe.. Tapi, Alhamdulillah, dah dapat offer dah.. Oh ya, kebetulan jumpa Fendy, member masa dekat flex dulu. He was also there for the interview. Haha.. So InsyaAllah, 3 of us will unite again. Me, Dyana, and Fendy.Working together-gether lagi,in Department of Mechatronics pulak this time..Hehehe...Memang kita ditakdirkan keje bersama kot!! Ahaks...
Knowing the result of the interview, I can now make few decisions for my life and its destination. 1st, I decided to let go TPM (Tenaga Pengajat Muda) offer by UiTM and accept UIA's offer. Sorry UiTM, it's not you, it's me..Hehe.. Maybe I'm just more comfortable and familiar with UIA (and I love UIA too much kot.Hahaha). Lagipon, I takut kena hantar cawangan UiTM yang tah mana-mana lepas complete Masters. En suami dengan si comel I camana? Hehehe... So better I accept UIA's offer yang dah sah-sah dekat Gombak je..,InsyaAllah.. Hehehe..
Then comes the 2nd decision which I will quit UiTM and enrol Master in UIA instead. By mixed mode.. (Yeay..,mixed mode wins!! ;p). InsyaAllah, I'll be registering this coming July (hopefully they'll take me for this July intake..). Tak sabar nak jadik UIA student balik! Hehehe..
3rd, we decided to move out from our house and move in to Mama's house here in Gombak. Since there is no more purpose of staying in Shah Alam area. So, solved the "sapa nak jaga Fatin" problem! Fatin can stay with her Nenek when I need to go to the class. Killing two birds with one stone.. Hehehe... InsyaAllah, we are going to move the stuffs out by next week. Thanks en owner for their courtesy to return back our 2months deposit eventho lom cukup 2 years we stay there like stated in the contract.. Hehe..
So, so far, that are the stories yang happen recently in my life..Ada lagi banyak sebenarnya, like, Family vacation to Cameron (without Enchek Suami.. huhu), Fatin's update.. But rasa semak lak sume nak sumbat kat sini. Will story mory bout that in different post (kalo sempat..huhuhu)..
Salam peeps! 10 for nothing? Haha, saje pick this title. Ala-ala eye-catching sket,org kata...Haha..
Actually this title was picked after one incident that occurred last night. The story starts when I noticed Fatin's left eye was swollen. So I brought her to my sis's room to let her see. I was afraid Fatin kena sakit mata or sumtin. Kebetulan, Angah's friend, Anis was in her room.
When Angah saw it, she said, might be a mosquito or some insect bite. Angah suggested to 'tuam' the swollen eye to reduce it. Following her suggestion, I pon buat.. However, I noticed her saliva meleleh dengan banyak nya. I remember Mama once said that if baby keluar saliva banyak, meaning dia tengah gatal (Gatal yang kena garu tuh ye, not gatal = merenyam tuh ;p) Hehe..
After a while, we noticed it became worse. Mata dia jadi makin kecik because of the swell, merah and became watery. I started to worry.... Kenapa pulak dah? Why is it become worse?
She started to cry.I assumed that she was uncomfortable dengan limited vision since mata dia dah kecik.And the saliva kept coming out from her mouth. A lot! Then out of the sudden, she started to cough badly, like she was choking. Macam tercekik air liur...
Angah said that we need to go to the clinic ASAP coz she worried it was a reaction of allergies. Swollen eyes and throat. That's why she's choking. It so happen that only 4 of us at home at that time. Ayah n Mama went out for dinner. So I immediately called Mama to inform and because of too panic, my voice were shaking like I was crying. Decided not to wait for them, we went to the clinic by ourselves. Angah drove us to the nearest clinic, Klinik Sakinah. In the car, on our way to the clinic, Fatin stopped crying already. And no more choking.
Arrived at the clinic, I quickly registered her name and hoping we can be entertained ASAP. Unfortunately, the doctor was performing a minor surgery to a patient (dunno what had happened to that boy), so it took longer than I hoped. Mau tak mau, we have to wait at the clinic. Mama n Ayah arrived not long after that. We waited for almost 10min, the operation still had not done. So I asked Mama n Ayah went to the Mamak stall nearby to have their disturbed dinner. Hehehe.. Kesian diorang, tak sempat makan pon lagi..
While waiting, Fatin started to act cranky. So, to calm her down, I breastfed her. Sambil-sambil feeding her, I checked on the swollen eyes.. And tersangatlah nak dijadikan cerita, the swollen eye which previously looked so bad suddenly jadi ok je plak (adakah kerana terlalu lama menunggu??) and she was sleeping like tak sakit langsung pon.. Angah n I looked at each other and started to worry that we just exaggerating things up, padahal Fatin ok-ok je.. Nanti doctor kata kiterang poyo je plak! And we was actually thought of cabut balik je.. Haha..
But it was so weird la. Tadi the condition was so bad, tiba2 sampai clinic, sihat walafiat la plak. Even it was just a mosquito bite, takkan bengkak boleh hilang terus (tanpa kesan) in not more than half an hour kan??
Finally, Fatin's name was called. Dengan nervousnya, we brought her in the doctor's room. So I started to tell what happened at home la and our assumption that it was an allergic reaction. The doc checked Fatin up and she said, nothing to worry, she's fine. Her throat was not swell and her lungs was ok. She said maybe Fatin tergesek mata dia dengan her hand and that's why it became bengkak and merah and coincidently, dia terbatuk-batuk and tersedak. I siap cakap, "kat rumah tadi mata dia bengkak sangat doc. And berair jugak..", actually was trying hard to verify to the doctor why we were there at the 1st place and hoping the doc will buy it..Hahaha.. Doctor senyum-senyum je. And the best part of it, she asked, "You amik medicine ke?". Hahaha... Dia mesti pikir, budak2 ni pandai2 je buat assumption allergies la,itu la,ini la,padahal anak dia tak ada apa-apa pon. Macam pandai noo!! Wakakaka... Mestila, kiterang peminat cerita House M.D. tau! Hehehe..
So dengan segan dan silunya, we went out from the doctor's room and waited to pay the bill. A nurse entertained us wif a smile and said "10ringgit je...". By that time, I teringat my bestfriend (Nurul Izzah @ Cik Jah) who said dia selalu je bayar 10hinggit kat clinic (maybe clinic yg sama.. ;p) sebab bawak her lil' daughter, Farihah just because risau, padahal tak ada apa-apa pon.. Masa dengar cerita dia, I ketawa.. Now, I sendiri dah rasa..
Guess, that is what moms do, worrying... Hahaha... Anyway Jah, I've joined the club!!! Club pay-10-for-nothing.., eh cop, shud be 10-for-too-worry.... Hehehe..
Tak ape lah, stick to a phrase(act quoted from Izzah), "BETTER WORRY THAN SORRY..."
Yup, it's so true.. So, I won't stop bringing Fatin to clinic and pay RM10 just because of worry, because I'm a MAMA.. Hey, that's what Mamas do what.... ;p
Haih... I'm so confused now. Bukannya confuse apa, confuse on what should I spend my money for first. Hahaha.. I have a long list of things to buy in mind, but I have limited finance source.. *sigh..*. Kesian la dengan En Suami kalo I pow dia untuk beli semua skarang..Hehehe.. So I have to set the priority right. Which one is more important, so that will be the one that I'll buy first...
Some of the things that in my list
1) Cloth diapers for Fatin. Fall in love wif this thing when I saw my cuzzy,Kak Wiwi used it for her son, Zikri. I personally think this new tech of diapers do provide conviniences for the mothers nowadays. Act, I did planned to use conventional napkin for my baby. In fact, we already made a stock of it before Fatin was born. However, tak jadi guna at the early days of her arrival to these world since newborn baby, especially the one that is breastfed 'berak' and kencing frequently. So, it might be a bit tedious to use napkin. Furthermore, I didn't want to cause trouble to Mama to wash a lot of Fatin's napkins everyday at that time. Se we used disposable diapers instead. Lama-lama, dah terbiasa la pulak! So bila nak guna napkin now, dah jadi kekok and doesn't look convincing for me. Macam akan bocor selalu je.. Huhu.. Kalau ada cloth diapers, senang sket. Jimat pun jimat, since we don't have to buy disposable diapers every 2 weeks no more.. Anyway, click here for some info on the advantages of cloth diapers..
2) Breastflow (brand : The first years) bottle set Also suggested by Kak Wiwi to use this bottle. She even gave us one of Zikri's new bottle to test and seems like Fatin is OK wif it. Tq Kak Wiwi!! :) The special feature about this bottle is it immitates the mother's breast. And it is not too easy for the baby to get the milk from the bottle since she/he has to suck it. Just like breasfeeding process. So, this will help the baby from having a nipple confusion syndrom.
3) Milk Warmer Easier to heat the expressed milk up with correct temperature and precise timing. To avoid lost of nutritions from the milk because of over-heating. So, no need to pening-pening to prepare the milk for Fatin whether dah cukup panas ke belum, or either terlalu panas ke,bla..bla..bla..
4) Cooler kit set Bag wif related stuff (ice packs etc.) for cooling purpose to serve the express milk. I need this bag when I start to go to the lab for my masters study later (July probably...) since there is no refridgerator in the lab to store the milk that I've pumped. Besides, need this also when travelling (if I wish to bring express milk. Mana la tau,waktu-waktu kecemasan, keadaan tak mengizinkan utk breastfeed Fatin..)
5) Laptop bag Pun diperlukan when I need to go to the lab later. Now duduk kat rumah, tak payah bag pon tak apa..
6) Nursing clothes Easier to breastfeed Fatin kat public.. Kang angkat-angkat baju, cik abang marah pulak..Hehehe..
7) Tower fan Since our rumah sewa doesn't have air conditioner, so we will need to have this to cool the temperature in the room a bit so that Fatin tak kepanasan. Almaklumla, si kicik ni kan budak aircond.. Huhu..
That are the stuffs in my list (for now...). Which one should I get first?? Hmm... Only if I can get all of it.... Huhuhu...
Just wanna share my excitement that my lil daughter dah pandai main agah-agah!! Yeay!! The best part bout it is when she smiles or laughs bila kita agah-agah dia. Terasa comel sangat lah!! Haha.... Mama plak yang over-excited. Hati terasa berbunga-bunga when she responds to us.
And she started to look at her hand. Like studying her hand. Hehe.. Mama said, it is one of the learning process. Memang babies will do that..
Click here for some pics of her when she's smiling and laughing.. ;p
Oh ya..,check out the pics for Fatin's Aqiqah n Cukur Jambul as well.. Click here
p/s : Actually I started to write this post on 26th of April. But no time to finish it up. So,memandangkan my lil' princess is sleeping now,I utilize this time to finish this up.. :)
26th April 2010
Today, my lil girl is 2 months old!! So Happy Birthday Sayang.. May you have a blessed long and healthy life.. :) Mama love U so much.. Mmuuahh...mmuuahh.. Bersempena dengan Fatin's birthday today, Mama wanna share my firsexperience becoming a mother for the first time...
Alhamdulillah, after 6months (yeah...we are planning ;p) getting married to a wonderful husband, I was confirmed to be pregnant. I still remember how nervous I was taking the urine test. I bought the kit at Guardian Shah Alam (can't remember what brand, but I think it was Guardian's brand..) after my menstrual period delayed for 2 weeks and I . It was on June 2009. So Kak Wiwi(cuzzy) advised me to take the test. With dup-dap, dup-dap, I waited for the strip to react. And there it goes, two lines appeared clearly (which means, 'CONGRATULATIONS, You're pregnant! ;p). Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah for giving me the oppurtunity becoming a Mama.. :)
Few weeks after that was happy. Everybody was very excited, especially Ayah (the Atok) waiting for the new member of the family. Then, the pregnancy started to become rough. I started to feel the 'penangan' of morning sickness. Dizzy + nausea (very kaw-kaw one...).
Sampai lembik la Mama dibuatnya.. There was one time, hubby need to feed me up since I couldn't even wake up (Thank you Abang...!! Luv u.. Mmuuahh.. ;p). And to make it even intresting, the morning sickness symptom stayed up to 5months pregnancy.. And only God knows how I survived the month of Ramadhan.. I even lost some weight. Hehe..But Alhamdulillah, when Raya Aidilfitri came, all the sickness was washed away.. Then I started to eat like a monster and gained pounds in short time.. Huhuhu...
Mama yang bagai dipam-pam.. 1 Mama = 2 Ayah. Wakakaka...
Ok,back to the story, so the pregnancy went smoother. No more morning sickness starting from 5months ahead (Thank God for the mercy.. :). However, lots of tests were given to us throughout the last 4 months. Mainly related to MONEY.. I was no longer employed. Doing my Masters with no sponsors and only God knows, when can I complete. So the financial source for the family is 100% coming from hubby. With the baby on the way, we were a bit worried that finance won't be sufficient.
And it's so happened that we were tested with an incident where my bro-in-law's motorcycle, which hubby borrowed for only few days, was stolen in his possesion (I'm still bengang with the pencuri! Allah aje yang membalasnya..Hish..). So more money needed to replace the motorcycle. I dropped a lot of tears. Huhuhu.. Menguji kesabaran, keimanan, and kasih sayang between both of us (hubby n I)...
Because of tests, we decided to name our lil princess as Fatin Amani. Fatin = The bright one, Amani = my piece and harmony. We named her with this name with hope and prayer that she will bring the piece and harmony in our heart to face the tests given to us, InsyaAllah. And Alhamdulillah, I think Allah did accepted our du'a and I was offered a few job offers and even better a scholarship for my Masters degree during my 9 months preganancy. Alhamdulillah... I am so grateful :) She is our AMANI...,InsyaAllah :)
So 9months passed, I started to feel the minor pain of labour. My stomach cramped quite frequent. Sometimes when it comes, I need to stand still and wait till the cramp relief. On 25th Feb, I went for my 40 weeks check-up with Mama and Ayah since hubby was working. My BP was quite high (160+). I told doctor about the cramping.
So he asked me to do the CTG to check the contraction frequency. After the CTG(cardiotocography), I was called back to the doc's room and he checked the opening. It was opened for 2cm already. He said that I need to admit that night, 9pm. He wanted to induce the baby out since my BP was way too high already, so it was not advisable to wait somemore. I was happy, since I can see my dear baby soon, yet I was nervous at the same time. Worried that I couldn't do it..
I was back at the hospital at 9pm. Unfortunately, there was no room available at that time. So I need to temporary lepak at labour room while waiting for a patient who is scheduled to discharge that night. 'bout an hour waiting, I was transferred to a shared room (4 person in a room). Itu aje bilik yang available at the moment. Suka tak suka, I still had to accept the room though I preferred a single room. My parents and my sister went home not long after that,left me and hubby...
Around 1130pm, a nurse came and gave me the medicine to start the induction process (err....technically, the medicine was inserted to a specific hole of the body..Huhuhuhu). At 12am, I started to feel some pain, sumtin like period pain. So I was like.."Oh..rasa sakit macam period pain. I can bear this (since I experience period pain quite frequent).."..Haha.. Confident gile!! So I pon relax-relax je, chit-chatting with hubby, ketawa-ketawa la.. Ala-ala happy time. Suddenly, a nurse came and said that no one is allowed to stay with the patient in that room. Kalau single room boleh la.. Indirectly, she wanted hubby to go back home la..
Immediately after kakak nurse tuh went away, I started to cry. Mana taknya, I definitely need him by my side throughout the labour process.. This is my first time for God sake!! Since I was crying like a baby, plus his husbandly-instinct not to leave me alone there (owh...you are so sweet.. ), he didn't leave. Jadi, it looks like I seludup my hubby inside the compartment. We whispered when we need to talk, so that no one knows that he was there. Hahaha..
At 2am, I started to feel more hard-core pain. No longer 'just-like-period-pain' pain.. Bergolek-golek atas katil tu tahan sakit. Memang tak boleh tidur langsung.. Seeing me in pain, hubby buzzed the 'nurse,i need u' bell. A nurse (the sporting one..sebab tak halau my hubby.. U rocked kak!! Hihi) came, and checked the opening of the vagina. It was 4 cm opened already. She asked whether I need the pain killer. Oh yes, I need it alright. So she jabbed me with a pain killer. The pain went away for a while. It came once in a while and I managed to get some sleep. Lega...
I got 2hours of sound sleep b4 somebody entered my compartment. That was when my penyeludupan terbongkar.. Kakak nurse yang sound us at the first place daa... Kantoi.. But thanks akak for some mercy u've shown for not shouting to us when we were sleeping (I was faking to be aslept.. ;p) and instead you shouted loudly outside the ward "Eh..patient wad 3-3 tuh,suami dia tak balik!!". Hahaha... We were both freaked out.
Afraid she will call the guard and heret my hubby out. So I asked hubby to leave me and went home. Lagipon, I was thinking that maybe he wanted to freshing up a bit before came back for the labour. It was almost 5am when he went back home. At that time, I thought the labour won't be anytime sooner since I didn't feel heavy pain. That's why, I let him go dengan rela hatinya..
However, out of my expectation, about 30min after he went off, the contraction came back, and it was really-really hurt this time. I meringkut macam udang menahan sakit. That time, I regretted my decision to let hubby went home. Huhuhu.. Wish he was there.. After I performed Subuh prayer, the contraction became more frequent and stronger. Coincidently, the nurse came to check my BP. Since she saw I was in pain already, she checked the opening again and it was 6cm already. Not long after that, she came back to break the water bag.
Around 715 am, I was transferred to the labour room. Hubby was still not there. I kept praying, he will be there before the delivery. Even said to the baby, "Tunggu ayah kejap ye...". Hehe.. Contraction became stronger and stronger. I was sweating like hell because of the pain.Sakitnya masa tuh, Tuhan aje lah tau.. Felt like crying, but no tears coming down...I saw the nurse preparing for the labour. She said, doctor is on his way.
Then someone opened the door, and I sighed for relief when I saw hubby came in. Alhamdulillah.. Few minutes later, the doctor appeared. Rushly prepared himself. I already felt like wanna push the baby out. But the nurse kept saying, "Jangan push dulu ye..".. Aduhai..,camana nak tahan kalo baby dah nak kuar.. When the doctor checked the opening, it was full term already. 10cm. Alhamdulillah, cause I felt like couldn't hold no more.
Then with 3 pushes, our dearest baby, Fatin Amani was safely born at 838 am on 26th Feb 2010, 12th Rabiulawal... And that is the moment, I become a Mama... :)
Mixed?Full Research?Mixed?Full research?? Hmm..I'm in dilemma..Currently I'm doing Masters by Research mode.. Topic? Something related to UAV (Unmanned Aerial Vehicle).. Cam terror-terror je nak wat topic ni kan?? Huhuhu.. But these few days, keep thinking of changing to mixed mode (coursework + research). Why?? Hmm, because I went to meet one of my x-lecturer in UIA regarding my interest of becoming a lecturer one day, and due to him, comparing both modes, doing mixed mode are more efficient for a lecturer-to-be... Reason is, 1) doing research allows the student to be expert in one particular field only as compared to mixed which students will learn various subjects in various field in class. But still, there will be a project that students should work on in the last 2 sem. Ala,macam FYP masa degree dulu... 2) in PhD level, will definitely by research mode, so it's better to learn more in class during Masters before doing hard core research during PhD... Yup, yup, it's so true.. Now I'm wondering, what was I thinking when I 1st enrolled by Research Masters? In Engineering plak tuh!! *sigh* Maybe I wasn't thinking much by then, almaklumla, orang kecewa kena retrenched..Huhu
Having thought that, then, should I change? But there r a lot of things to consider if I were to change my mode of studies... *sigh again*...Lets do some checklist
1st, the UNIVERSITY to enroll my masters. As for now, I'm studying at UiTM, Faculty of Electrical Engineering. They do offer full coursework besides by research mode, but it is more to Tele-Communication engineering which I'm not rili in favor of taking it since I did my degree in Mechatronics, so if possible, I want to maintain in that line...Huhu.. So, if I were to change, I have to change the Uni as well, and one that I have in mind now is the beloved UIA.. ;p They do offer mixed mode Masters in Mechatronics Engineering.. Ok, say I quit UiTM and enrol mixed mode masters in UIA, then comes the 2nd thing to think of which is the DURATION OF STUDY... I have to start all over again, which means, another 2 years to finish Master, unless I'm super hebat can finish in 1 and 1/2 years. In UiTM, I've finished 1 sem already. So, by right I will complete in another 1 and 1/2 years time, however, I doubt that.. Hahaha... Looking at my friends' experience, I make a conclusion that it is quite difficult to complete ur research on time when you already have children, especially the mother and especially when ur child is fully breastfeed... So,kira punya kira, maybe I will finish in another 2 years (by hook or by crook)...So, sama je,mixed mode yg start all over, or research that is already finished 1 sem (1 sem of zero achievement..Huhuhu..), both need plus minus 2yrs to complete..
Next is the ABILITY factor.. Like it or not, I have to admit, doing research is just not something that I good at.. Huhuhu.. Tambah-tambah lagi doing research on UAV??? Huwaa.... Farah doing research = blur + blank + dunno-where-to-start + tears... Huhu.. However, I was struggling to convince myself that it will be a temporary situation. I'll be better in the next sem. I'll be more focus. I can do this.. Ganbatte neh! But deep inside my heart, 'CAN I??' question always pop up.. *sigh...*. Hubby said, he is confident that I'm good at studying (buat assignment,baca buku, exam,bla..bla..bla..), but he's not sure whether I'm good at doing research.. Mama said the same thing too.. So, 2 most-significant person in my life said that about me and research already, shud I continue..?? *sigh lagi...*
Oh Allah, plz show me the best path for me and my family... I'm so confused and in delimma.. Only YOU the Most Knowing what is the best..