Depressed...

Assalam y'ols...

How are y'ols doing? I wish y'ols are in great shape, Amin..

Honestly, I'm in depression.. Major factor, "STUDIES".. Tho, some small small things might add up the level of depression, but still, the main reason is study.. 

Semua benda jadi serba tak kena.. Everything went wrong.. Allah hu akbar...

So these few weeks, I was busy looking around things that might, y'know.., reduce the level of depression that I'm suffering.. Kang kena hypertension pulak! Anak baru satu...

But pusing punya pusing, tak jumpa lah! Nak shopping *people said it usually works, especially for women.. ahaks...*, cannot... now got no extra money maa.. need to spend wisely! So shopping, pangkah!

Holiday? Again...no.. Requires budget as well... Lagipun, enche suami susah nak cuti.. Pangkah juga..

I tried spend some time watching movies lah, pi sana lah, pi sini lah.. Ended up I wasting my time looking for the things that can help me release my stress, and yet stress is still there! Malah bertambah-tambah lagi sebab time is running out..

One sweet day, I terpanggil to recite Al-Ma'thurat.. Dah lama I tak amalkan.. *TERUK LA MUNG NI FARAH!!!*.. I always let 'it's hard to find time' as excuse! But actually masa tuh ada, I yang pemalas! Huhuhu...

Oh..back to Al-Ma'thurat.. At the end of the ma'thurat, there is one du'a.. When I recited the translation of the du'a, I stunned and broke into tears.. Subhanallah.... Just the right du'a and the right phrases that I needed most...

Here goes some of the translation that made me fell into tears:

Ya Allah, kurniakan kami cara hidup yang jitu dan unggul, selamat dari mala petaka. 

Kami mohon kecukupan yang tidak sampai kami terpaksa meminta jasa orang lain..

Berikan kami iman yang sebenarnya sehingga kami tidak lagi gentar atau mengharap orang lain selain daripada Engkau, atau menyembah selain daripada Engkau..

Kembangkanlah lembayung rahmat-Mu kepada kami, keluarga dan anak-anak kami, serta siapa sahaja yang bersama kami..

Jangan Engkau biarkan nasib kami ditentukan oleh diri kami sendiri, walau sekelip mata sekalipun, walau sekadar masa yang lebih pendek dari itu..

Wahai Tuhan yang paling mudah dan cepat memperkenankan pinta...

Pusing sana sini mencari ketenangan, sebenarnya ketenangan itu datangnya bila kita bergantung dengan Allah... Susah payah mencari tempat untuk mengadu, sebenarnya, kita hanya perlu menadah tangan dan mengadu pada Allah ta'ala... And kita selalu tak perasan, sebenarnya, tiap kali kita angkat takbir, 'Allah hu akbar' dan mula solat, kita dah berdoa dah... 

'Iyya kana' budu wa iyya kanastain' (AlFatihah, verse 5)

Kepada Engkau kami menyembah dan kepada Engkau kami memohon pertolongan..

Allah hu akbar.. Kenapalah leka dan negligence sangat selama ni? 

True, the problem won't solve in a blink without effort from us.. But at least, if we can do work with peaceful heart and mind, InsyaAllah, things will be easier to solve.. InsyaAllah.. 

'Ya Allah, aku menadah tangan dengan penuh rasa kehambaan, memohon petunjuk dan pertolongan daripada Mu yang Maha Kuasa.. Bantulah aku harungi kesusahan dan kemelut ini.. Engkau lah Tuhan, Engkau lah Maha Pembantu dan Engkaulah tempat aku mengharap...'

Cerita keluar topik : One night, mama was sad. So mama cried. And Fatin Amani was there, seeing her Mama cried like a child. She came closer to her Mama, wiped Mama's tears and said, "Mama..nanan nanesh tau.." (translate : Mama, jangan nangis tau). Mama smiled, but tears pouring down even heavily.. Mama was touched, that this small little creature now understands that Mama is sad and even try to console her Mama not to cry.. Thank you Allah, for giving me this little thing to cheer me up... Fatin Amani, Mama love you sooooo much.....

 Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*