PhD Dilemma

Assalamualaikum..

Happy weekends u'ols!! Hoping that you guys are enjoying your weekend so far.. 

Now that I've finished my master's degree *Alhamdulillah!*, I need to find institution for my next degree, PhD *Permanent Head Damage??*.. Enthusiastic? Naahh..., not rili.. Thing is I am only given 6 months from endorsement date to find places for my PhD. To be submitted to MSD *or more familiar as HR in other places* for approval.

Honestly..., looking for the institution je dah pening.. Macam-macam benda nak kena consider. Macam-macam orang nak kena pikir.. Tu lah urs truly tengah dilema ni..

Kehendak university, to get a high rank institution. Kalau dapat MIT, lagi gempak! Harvard, Cambridge, Stanford.. Uni yang aku baru bukak website je dah tegak bulu roma.. Belum nak hantar email dekat potential supervisor lagi...

Kehendak Head Of Department, to get a place in US institution. Yeah I heard, US PhD graduates memang berkualiti.. Research wise and teaching wise.. Tapi, kena ingat, 'NO PAIN, NO GAIN'.. Honestly, aku seghiau dengan 'excessive PAIN' that I might need to go through to GAIN the quality.. Master di dalam negara sahaja pun dah hampir mengeringkan my duct of tears. Ini pula nak buat PhD dekat US institution yang memang known as tough and extra challenging! Plus, I sendiri tak yakin boleh lepas GRE exam *Graduate Record Examination = qualification exam to be accepted as post-grad students in US institution*

Kehendak enche suami, kalau boleh dalam negara aje.. I can understand his concern, sapa nak look after our asset *wahh, gaya macam asset juta-juta kau nyahhh, padahal rumah cenonet seketul je & kereta myvi sebijik! Nyampah! Hihi*. And mungkin dia sayang nak tinggalkan kerja & students yang tersayang kat Malaysia nih.. *Hmmmmmmm.....*

Kehendak ayah bonda, to get an institution over the seas but not so far from Malaysia. Hahahaha... Of course their concern is it's too far away, then it will be difficult for them to visit their grandchildren.. Australia is their preferable choice.. Sebab masih dalam range mampu pergi visit naik AirAsia.. Hehehe..

Kehendak hati sebagai bakal PhD student, I just want my PhD journey to be smooth and exciting. A few criteria that I have set in mind for my PhD. Since it is a research based study, so choice of supervisor is SUPER IMPORTANT! I wish I can get a SV that can closely monitor my progress. Guide me at least on the direction to sail. Second, since I'm in engineering field, of course I'm hoping the institution that I want to go is fully equipped with the facilities that I need to use for my research. Third, the research work that I want to do, it would be better if it is in larger group kind of project. Meaning, my research would be small part of larger project conducted in the institution. The advantage of this is, usually the project is more organized, well-planned and funded. Plus, it is easier to discuss with a group of people who understands the project since they are doing the same thing but maybe different part. So kalau blur or stuck, boleh bertanya dan dapatkan advice dengan cepat.

And penipu besar lah kalau I cakap, tak teringin nak cuba belajar luar negara. Get new experience, new adventure, new environment.. Get to know other part of the world culture and living style. Peluang datang sekali seumur hidup. Bukan semua orang dapat peluang gi belajar & duduk luar negara free kan? So why not? Hehehehe..    

Kehendak hati sebagai seorang ibu kepada anak-anak yang sedang membesar, I nak carik tempat yang bagi advantage pada growth anak-anak. US terlalu 'free', japan, korea & germany, english bukan the mother tongue, nanti susah anak-anak nak bergaul, di sana and bila dah balik Malaysia. Nak tempat yang senang carik babysitter or nursery/playschool. So well being anak-anak terjaga dan tak terabai bila Mama sibuk belajar..

In conclusion, too many aspects need to be considered.. Dan macamlah semua tempat dapat offer. Subject to the institution acceptance gak.. And subject to MSD & KPT punya approval lagi.. Haihhh.. Challenging.., challenging... Huhuhuhu... Camano ni? Lom start pon laie..,baru carik tompek, ekau dah kato challenging.. Sok tah bapo gelen pulak air mato nak buang ni.. 

Ya Allah, tunjukkan aku jalan yang terbaik. Permudahkanlah... Amin...

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Selamat hari raya aidiladha!

Assalamualaikum,

Selamat hari raya aidiladha to all muslims in d world!

Sama-sama kita hayati erti pengorbanan...

Allah hu akbar,allah hu akbar,allah hu akbar,
Lailahaillallah,hu wallah hu akbar,
Allah hu akbar,walillahilhamd...

Selamat hari raya dari urs truly sekeluarga!

Post Mortem : Doing Master's Degree

Assalamualaikum,

Catatan hari ini, adalah untuk renungan aku sendiri.  Mungkin satu hari nanti di masa akan datang, di kala aku mungkin dah berjaya mencapai cita-cita menjadi seorang pendidik, aku boleh imbau kembali jerih perjalanan aku menggenggam segulung ijazah Sarjana.dan yang penting,kesilapan-kesilapan yg pernah aku buat masa master,akan dijadikan benchmark utk tidak diulangi utk phd & perjalanan akan dtg.

*dah kenapa ayat skema tak hengat...! saje la..,mood tengah ala-ala puitis gitu.. Tolong layan je... Hihihihi..*

So..., back to the story. I started my master's study in IIUM back then in 2010, June to be specific. In Mechatronics Engineering, Kulliyyah of Engineering. I enrolled a mixed mode program (coursework + research).

From June 2010 - April 2011, I completed my 20 credit hours = 7 subjects coursework. Well, I would say, studying for courses and a mother at the same time, is not an easy task to do. Masa bujang trang tang tang dulu, you can study (doing assignment/completing minor project/preparing for quizzes/preparing for exams and etc) anytime you like. Pagi? Malam? Tengahari buta? Asalkan free and ada will to do so, duduk je kat meja study, bukak buku, and study.

When you're a mother, on the other hand, that privilege is taken dengan serta-merta.. Kena setelkan anak dulu, then baru boleh fikir utk study. Sometimes, baru je bukak buku 5minit, si kecik dah bunyi.. So, terpaksa tinggal dulu and entertain anak. Oh itu kalau si kecil sihat walafiat lah. Tiba pulak time dia demam or tak sihat, level manja @ mengada meningkat ke tahap tertinggi, maka memang tak akan sempat lah sang mama sentuh buku. Bukan setakat buku, nak bawak pencil case keluar dari beg pun belum tentu sempat! So, TIME MANAGEMENT is super important!

LESSON LEARNT #1: Manage your time super efficiently. DON'T PROCRASTINATE!

LESSON LEARNT #2: Allocate a 2hours everyday for studies.completing assignment,study for quizzes,exam etc.last minute study is no longer suitable for a mother.

Then,after 2 semesters doing courseworks,i registered for research.my biggest mistake back then was not looking for supervisor n research title earlier (sem 2 or even sem 1).i seriously started looking for supervisor & title only after I was done with courseworks.well,i lost a lot of time for it.

Then the title.i sucks big time in this part.first,i chose research area that is too virgin in my university.my sv wanted to explore the area,but belum ada foundation.scope of research terlalu general and luas!so I had a hard time narrowing my scope n choosing the method.and I spent a looootttt of time in this stage.scope n methodology.once that was confirmed,then only I started on the implementation.

LESSON LEARNT #4: it is safer n time saving to find a research conducted by a group of student.at least the scope of ur part is known and u can just focus on methodology n analysis.

LESSON LEARNT #5: Choose sv who is really expert in ur chosen research area.so they can advise anytime u need it n feedback on ur work that u has done.

LESSON LEARNT #6: set your consultation time with supervisor (if ur sv doesn't do that) and make sure to strictly stick to the schedule.this is to motivate u to do something for u to report for that meeting.jadi tidaklah leka berjimba sana sini kerja tak buat.huhuhuhu

I started writing my thesis,while doing the research.thanks to some friends who suggested that.it rili helpful.kalau tak,tah jaman bila baru siap...ditambah pula masa tu I pregnant kan faris.agak tergendala gak le,tp I rasa the baby inside my womb ms tu was one of the motivation utk habiskan writing and submit asap.reason being,i tak mau menghadap thesis selepas beranak 2nd child.confirm akan lebih tertekan..

#macam dah panjang sgt.nanti sambung lain post lah.hahahaha

Loads of love, * Farah Jasni*

KHALAS!!!

Subhanallah, walhamdulillah, walailaha illallah, wallah hu akbar...

Praise to Allah.. Finally, I'm done!!! Alhamdulillah..

Just called Center of Postgrad Studies to confirm the status. Alhamdulillah. Good news it is. My thesis has been accepted, and InsyaAllah, my name will be included in October senate endorsement. By that, InsyaAllah, officially, I'm done!!!!! Yeayyyyyyyyyyyyy....

Over excited! Sangat anxious nak habis.. *padahal master je pun!*.. Maybe it's just me.. The journey to earn this degree terasa sangat lah berliku-liku.. Sempat  mengandung & beranak lagi satu okay, kau rasa?? Ha...punya lama nak menghabihkannya tu...!

Ask my husband, how many times that I mentioned I wanna quit and asked him to pay IIUM (my sponsor) for breaching the contract? Ask my Mama, how many liters of tears that I've wasted throughout the journey..

Alhamdulillah, finally, habis juga!

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Thank you Allah for finally letting me get done with this! Thank you hubby, for your patience, your motivation and your sacrifice supporting me throughout the journey. Thank you Fatin & Faris for being Mama's strength! Thanks Mama & Ayah for your endless support and love and motivation. And thanks all for your du'a...

Aku dah habis master weyhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Alhamdulillah. Boleh mula langkah yg baru utk tangga seterusnya.. Bismillah........

Mungkin aku dah kena mula memohon doa kalian semoga perjalanan PhD aku dipermudahkan... Hihihi... ;p

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*

Afakufu sefedihfih......

Assalamualaikum...

Safalamfam Jufumafaatfat..

Afakufu rafasafa sefedihfih hafarifi nihfih...

Oforangfang bufuatfat coforrectfektionfen sefemingfinggufu dufuafa jefe dahfah sefetelfel... Tafapifi afakufu dahfah mafasukfuk sefebufulanfan lefebihfih takfak lefepasfas-lefepasfas lafagifi...

Kafadangfang-kafadangfang rafasafa mafacamfam nakfak givefif upfup.. Efexafamifinerfer afakufu tufu..,tahfah nafapefe difiafa sufusahfah safangatfat nakfak lefepasfaskanfan afakufu.. Pafadafahalfal,dahfah dafapatfat unfunofffifcialfial refesultfult kotfot! Think I've met and discussed with him more than 5times already! And everytime we met, he found a new mistake on my thesis... And I feel like running around in circles!

He's supposed the check the correction that he has reviewed masa check thesis before viva hari tu.. Not finding the other mistakes and suddenly everything is a mistake!! What the heck..

Difiafa takfak tafahufu yangfang afakufu tungfunggangfang terferbafalikfik watfat research onfon myfy ownfown.. I did everything senfendifiri... Maybe that's why my thesis mafacamfam syokfok senfendifirifi! But if it is that bad,how come the external examiner (examiner from other uni) gave a good review and good marks. Even offered me to do PhD under his supervision in the same field.
Dahfah difiafa pufulakfak treat my thesis mafacamfam sefemufuafa takfak kefenafa!

Tafahun bilafa lafa afakufu bafarufu lehfeh subfabmitfit hard bound copy mafacamfam nifi... I need my damn degree la dude!!!!!!

Hafadoifoiiiiiiiiiii.... Safakitfit hafatifi dafakufu ifinifi....

Afawatfat sufusahfah safangatfat perferjafalafananfan masfasterfer afakufu nifi....

Mungfungkinfin kafafafarahfah dofosafa kotfot...........

Mafacamfam nifi pufunyafa sufusahfah...rafasafa tafakutfut nakfak proceed PhD...

Ya Allah,

Tuhan yang berkuasa membolak-balikkan hati....

Kasihani aku..

Tabahkan hatiku..

Lembutkan hatinya...

Permudahkanlah......

And I really feel like eating this....

 A LOT......

Loads of love, 

* Farah Jasni*